Husband Horse!!

So when I was reading sale ads for horses, dreaming of owning a giant beast, occasionally the term, "Husband Horse" would come up, as a positive trait in the horse.

Basically this means that the horse being described is so well behaved and amiable to a complete idiot riding him, and therefore, can be trusted with one's idiot, er, husband. I jest! I guess because it seems in the horse world, unless a guy is out there making a gajillion dollars a month on training/rodeo/dressage/whatever, (think Monty Roberts/Clinton Anderson/Ken McNabb, etc)  he's not into horses at all. Therefore, he must be relegated to a boring, bombproof, and reliable mount.
So, one day while perusing CraigsList, I mention this term to my husband. Would Husband ever consider a horse of his own, at all? I got a shrug of disinterest, a "I dunno", and nothing else. I asked him if he'd ever consider riding with me. He said, "Sure!! On my motorcycle!" hm.
Where am I going with this? Well, I suppose I could describe Altivo as a husband horse, but really, he's an anyone horse. Oh, I got sidetracked again.
Ok, here's the story-
I was on the phone with my sister one day, who isn't really into horses, but she mentioned to me that she'd like to ride Altivo someday. I told her that could be arranged, since he puts up with me on him, I figured he probably wouldn't notice a difference in the horsemanship level between her and I. Well, I hung up the phone, and turned around to see my husband looking at me. I looked back. I asked, "what?" His facial expression didn't give much away, but he said to me calmly, "I've never ridden Altivo."

Whatwhat??!?!?!?!?!?
Of course he'd never ridden him, he never asked!
So last weekend, I plopped my helmet on his head and told him to hop on. He did, and he meandered around on mah pony.
Would you know that my stoic, unaffected, food driven horse was watching me for direction??? Holy My Little Pony, he kept his eye on me the whole time, almost asking me, "hey, is this what I should be doing?"

He didn't stress, he listened to what Husband was telling him to do, but he still kept turning his head to watch me....and at one point, I went around the side of the arena, out of sight, and Husband reported that while Altivo still followed his directions, he kept his eye on the corner where I had disappeared.

So I guess that's what horse bonding feels like? I wasn't sure he had even gotten attached in any way to me, as he never nickers at me when he sees me, he doesn't seem to "perk up" or get excited when I show my face, unless I have food in my hand, and even then he just wants to relieve me of it by any means necessary.

But to know that he looked to me for direction was a wonderful feeling- I hope our bond grows even stronger!!

As for the Husband- He's not into riding, but I will say that he does go to the barn with me occasionally, and helps me groom and tack up so that I can ride. And I think I'm ok with it that way....Some days that I ride by myself, I have a chance to be in my own mind, focus on the horse, and even occasionally, just sit up on that big guy and we zone out together, him almost dozing off with me laying on his neck. It's a good place to be.

Really?

So.....I didn't screen cap the ad, but I was poking about on CraigsList, and saw an ad that said pretty much this:

For sale, 10 yo Draft gelding, sorrel, broke to ride, has been in parades and medieval events, great around everyone, 17 hands, only vices- occasionally throws his head up when bridled and is kind of pokey, not a very excitable horse.

The ad was long, detailed the horse's positive and negative points, had great pictures, basically, they had bothered to try to actually sell the horse. There was a ton more information, but I'm not remembering it all, so I'm not going to type it. But, suffice to say, it sounded like a nice horse, oh, and they wanted....  $800 for him!!!

$800 for a horse as well rounded as they claimed is a good price in today's market, and for a draft horse, that is even better. (my opinion only, but feel free to correct me in the comments if you think I'm wrong)

Being of larger stature, a thick stocky horse is appealing to me, so I stopped thinking with my brain and immediately forwarded the ad to my instructor, and emailed the advertiser asking for more photos. Within a few moments, I had pictures of this nice, thick, happy horse in various situations- being ridden at what looked like a renaissance faire type event, standing quietly for a photo to be taken, standing with a smiling girl (the owner?) with her arms wrapped around his neck...wow, seems perfect! I was giddy like a child going to an amusement park for the first time, like a teenager driving my car by myself for the first time, or like that time in Las Vegas! (umm..let's not go there right now...)
But it's a great sounding horse!! I thought so, and my instructor thought so....and so did the rest of the world, apparently. It all went downhill from there. The ranch owner AND the horse owner were both taking calls regarding this horse, and it didn't appear that they were communicating with each other regarding who was coming to look at him and when. One told me that I couldn't come until two days from now and look at the horse, the other told me I could see him the following evening, which unfortunately didn't work with my schedule. Then an hour later, I was told I could see him the very next morning, and then I got a call telling me that no one would be available to show him to me since neither the ranch owner or the horse owner would be available.  I was assured no one was going to look at him for 5 more days, due to both the ranch owner and horse owner not anticipating having to show him so quickly to potential buyers and their busy schedules, then from the other source I was told that someone else was coming in the morning to see him, which is why I was told I couldn't come to see him. That afternoon, I got a call that he had sold. UGH.

I understand that you want to sell your horse quickly, so when you put an ad up that he's for sale, be prepared to show him as soon as it goes live. Also, don't give conflicting stories out to people...I had gotten so much of a run around that when they told me he had sold, I was relieved, since I felt I could no longer trust a word that either one of them said to me (not saying they were deceitful, just saying that once there is something minorly fishy in a business transaction, it puts doubt into every aspect of that dealing) and I was too exhausted about having to switch my schedule around to match their ever-evolving one. Oh, and my instructor was waiting to hear from me the whole time to know if she needed to clear her schedule, since I need her to look at any horse that I might be considering buying. (I know I don't NEED anyone to "help" me buy a horse, but the idea of a knowledgeable person standing next to me is kind of a good one.)


So, suffice to say, I think things happen for a reason. Maybe that horse wasn't the right horse for me, who knows? Maybe I wouldn't have been the right owner for that horse....maybe I'm just not ready and that would have been bad for both of us. It would be awfully selfish to think only of myself when considering the purchase of a horse- I need to be the right fit for the horse as well.

Is all horse buying like this????